Some might think it’s a little bit of a downer to talk about miscarriage on Mothers Day, but the statistics show that about 1 in 4 pregnancies ends with loss, so I know that my experience is far from uncommon.
I feel like there’s a stigma surrounding miscarriage that usually keeps women from even speaking about the experience, much less processing their loss in a supported way.
I’m not really here for that stigma, and I hope you know that if you’re struggling today, it’s okay. It’s okay to grieve today.
It’s okay to feel heartbroken today.
It’s okay to take care of you today.
You are loved, you are seen, and you are not alone.
I pray that the sting of others insensitive words and actions regarding your loss, be lifted off you, and your heart be given the freedom to heal from this experience fully and that you find the grace to know that it’s okay not to be okay today.
To my babe,
(and all Moms who have lost them)
I didn’t really know I was pregnant, nor did I fully think I was having a miscarriage until the moment I knew you were gone from me.
I didn’t know I wanted you so desperately and I didn’t know there would a giant hole in my life without you.
I didn’t know I would mourn the loss of time and experiences you would never have with me.
I didn’t know I would stay up at night and wonder if you looked like your dad like your sister does, or if you would have looked like me.
I didn’t know that every year I would remember when you left and miss someone I didn’t get to meet.
I have fought hard to grieve for you.
I have pushed back on those who would say you weren’t a person because I lost you so early.
I have rejected the words of those who were insensitive to my grief because they didn’t know how to deal with their own losses.
I have grown in compassion and love because of the experience of you. I still think of you every Mothers Day and wish you were here.
I know you are in heaven, and I am comforted by the knowledge that someday, I will see you again, and get to properly meet you as the person who was meant to be your Mother.
By Briana Lassiter
I’m married to my dearest friend of 8 years and mom to an energetic 6-year-old. My greatest joys come from traveling with my little family, cooking for appreciative recipients, learning herbalism and natural medicine, and every experience I get to have in prayer ministry. I’m an avid tea and book lover and can’t get enough of either. I love Jesus and the daily adventure that comes from walking in friendship with him as he arranges and rearranges my story.