Turbulence of the Tongue: The Dangers of telling the Right Things to the Wrong People & 3 Ways to Preserve Your Dream

Relationships can be funny things especially when it comes to transition and vision. There is nothing more exhilarating than having a God-given vision, or be in the midst of transition and find that those closest to you are undergirding you with prayer and celebrating your transformation in faith and position.

But sometimes we face those who are not so excited about our dreams and have the propensity to try to minimize our vision from beyond-the-moon status to smaller than a posted note.

It hurts.

But the truth is sometimes we, as the dreamers who accept the invitation of the Lord to walk with Him on the water, set ourselves and others up for failure when we share with them secrets and truths that we were never meant to share with them.


Remember that whenever our Lord showed some of His most intimate and vulnerable displays of power, He did not bring along the 72, nor the 12 who followed Him. He only ever brought with Him the three, Peter, James, and John, or as the Word calls them, the Sons of Thunder.

When He went to the Mount of Transfiguration it was only the three (MATTHEW 17:1-9). When we prayed of Jairus’ daughter and raised her from the dead, it was only the three (MARK 5:21-24; 35-43) see vs 37)). When He went into the Garden to pray before He was to be led away captive and later crucified, it was only the three.

Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” ~MATTHEW 26:36-38

We need to, like the Lord, be discerning about and prayerful over who needs to be in the ‘know’ about what the Lord has spoken to us and is planning to do through us. Timing is everything!

“Now as they came down from the mountain, Jesus commanded them, saying, “Tell the vision to no one until the Son of Man is risen from the dead.” ~MATTHEW 17:9


A relationship that is only meant to carry an ounce of intimacy but is loaded down with a gallon is destined for failure.

When we set unfair expectations for those in our lives who are only meant to be acquaintances and not confidants we allow the enemy a footing that not only causes heartbreak between ourselves and the person(s) we have overshared with, but we ultimately run the risk of getting off our intended track for transition because we have put ourselves in line with a relational trainwreck.


Here is what I learned about the liar, Satan, our enemy and how he causes strife in relationships in order to disrupt our transition.

The first thing that takes place is that he gives you a negative thought about your loved one. This thought ultimately becomes consuming because instead of you praying about your vision, you are engaging in a mental argument with a person who isn’t even there.

The thing about the thought is it didn’t come from the Lord. It’s strife-filled fiction filled loaded with speculation. Speculation is never something that cast that person in a good light but what it is is just a little bit of yeast to spoil the entire loaf of your relationship.

Our job is to take every thought captive (II COR. 10:5). That very first negative thought that did not come from God concerning the person that you were having a struggle with needs to be shut down.

That does not mean that the struggle is not real, or that the pain isn’t real as a result. It just means that you need to reason from a place of righteousness, from a place of grace, and mercy, and understanding. But when you allow the enemy a foothold through strife and speculation, that becomes virtually impossible.


What is that foothold? What is that door? It’s first that act of not consulting the Lord about who you have permission to share your vision with. The second is to then entertain the very first negative thought about that person.

That very first negative imagination about that person is how the enemy gets your mind off of your vision, causes you to look at it negatively, while also causing you to look at your relationship negatively.

The moment the enemy starts jiggling the key at the door to strife and distraction is when you need to just block it off completely, take that thought captive. Don’t give it place in your heart in mind.

This doesn’t mean that when the dust settles that the Lord will not tell us that we need to leave certain relationships or distance ourselves from them for a time, but know that He will show us through wisdom grace and truth, what we are to do, never through negative thoughts fueled by fear and speculation, or wounds.

BUT all of this can be avoided if we wisely consider who we are sharing our truth with to begin with.


  1. Know what needs to be said and what needs to be secret: Some visions are for your eyes only. Everyone doesn’t need to know. When Elizabeth, Mary’s cousin was pregnant with John the Baptist, she kept to herself until Mary, the Mother of Jesus, came to stay with her. (LUKE 1:20-45)
  2. Know your audience: Everyone who loves you isn’t necessarily for you and your dream. Joseph’s brothers (See Genesis 37-50) and even David’s tolerated them until the moment they spoke of or showed the beginnings of transition (I SAM. 17:27-29). Even Christ Jesus was mocked by His brothers during His three-year ministry (JOHN 7:1-24).
  3. Know your Season: To everything, there is a time and season (ECCLESIASTES 3:1-8). Sometimes you can tell the right people the right thing but at the wrong time. If they are not ready to receive it, the seed could be jeopardized if you share it at the wrong time (MATTHEW 17:9).
  4. BONUS: Know that no matter what, if the Lord spoke it to you and placed it upon your heart, He will bring it to pass. Keep dreaming, keep believing and keep trusting!

Transition is a turbulent time filled with many growing pains, especially from within our relationships. Christ gave us others to love and love us and to do life alongside us. But change isn’t always easy. It’s not easy for those changing and sometimes harder still for those who are watching the changes take place.

Let grace be your beacon as you travel these bumpy skies, safeguarding your faith, vision, and relationships.

~Dream. Imagine. Believe. Do. CONQUER!


2 thoughts on “Turbulence of the Tongue: The Dangers of telling the Right Things to the Wrong People & 3 Ways to Preserve Your Dream

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