By Bri Lassiter
November and December is always a special time for me personally. It really has nothing to do with the holiday seasons or what people typically associate these months with, it’s just a special time for me where God has always shown up for me in special ways.
Looking back, this season was always a source of sadness for me for many reasons, the stress of my own poor health that sometimes excludes me or makes events silently difficult, grief over a family members absence or conflict, stress or isolation due to constant moving out of state, I could go on, but the point is that I have always needed an enormous amount of grace to get through these months and He has always been there for me with promises that it wouldn’t always be that way, and the promises have been enough to carry me through.
If you follow the Jewish calendar you’ll know that Rosh Hashanah or the head of the year just occurred last month. Every year I ask Him what my word of the year is and this year it is was ‘Redemption’.
“I am gathering everything that was lost to you and bringing you to a place of full redemption.” He says to me. That’s nice Jesus I say. I’m used to Him giving me hope and promises and then sitting in a long dark waiting season while they have yet to break forth. That’s apparently our thing. So I put these words in my pocket and move on with life.
One day I’m sitting on the toilet griping at Jesus. I mean just really whining. Anyone else sit on the toilet and gripe at Jesus? No? Just me? Ok moving on. Anyway, I’m sitting here in this bathroom staring at this pretty floor and this nice shower that isn’t mine and I just snap.
I’ve been renting almost my entire married life and it’s a super sore spot okay, probably exacerbated by seasonal across state moves spanning the past four years. I’ve carried around this sorrow over not having a true sense of home for a while and although I’ve created the habit of actively handing these feelings to Jesus so I can keep going, I’m not here for it today and something as simple as staring at the floor that wasn’t mine, made me lose it.
So here I am, going off on my angry-toilet-tirade and I’m interrupted by a vision. I see a beautiful room full of light and while I’m looking in this room I feel an overwhelming sense of love and true peace and an unfamiliar happy feeling of establishment, and as I’m looking in this lovely place He says to me, “This is your home, I am bringing you to this place and it will be a place of peace and rest for you where you can finally take your shoes off and stop wandering.”
Grace. Such grace.
Okay, Jesus. I put that one in my pocket for later and assume it’s one of those long-term promises that I’ll see fulfilled someday in the distant future.
Fast forward a little over a month later and its the first day of the new year and what am I doing? Driving to sign papers for the closing of my home. “I told you so, I told you so!” Is all I can hear Him say.
Grace. So much grace.
A year ago a friend prophesied and prayed over our family that we would receive grace upon grace, and it was such a nice thought but I didn’t really understand what that meant and just being real, I didn’t really think my life looked like a picture of grace upon grace. But as I’m writing this, I am sitting in the very room I saw in my vision and it is full of light and love and I’m feeling that true peace and a strange sense of establishment that is beginning to feel familiar.
I’m about to spend a week experiencing the fulfillment of restoration to a relationship with someone I never thought would be completely possible, and yet here’s Jesus, showing up with those long-held promises, erasing past griefs and replacing them with His joy.
I’m going into this new year and a new season in the best health I’ve had in years, and with the crazy stories of what He’s done for my healing. And in the places where that story is still in progress, I have a new understanding of what it means to be at peace and rest in His promises until they are walked out in my life, even if all I’m seeing with my eyes at the moment is a hot mess.
There it is, grace upon grace. There’s been enough for every season I’ve walked through and there is still enough for every season I have yet to walk through.
So whether this time looks like grace to you too, or whether you’re spending it feeling like a hot mess in some other painful season of purging, building, growing, healing, isolation etc, (fill in your own blank) rest assured that the Father’s grace is with you, and it’s enough, and if you let Him, He’ll teach you how to associate every experience you go through with grace, and He’ll just keep adding to it.
~Dream. Imagine. Believe. Do. CONQUER!
This article is written by Bri Lassiter
I’m married to my dearest friend of 8 years and mom to an energetic 6-year-old. My greatest joys come from traveling with my little family, cooking for appreciative recipients, learning herbalism and natural medicine, and every experience I get to have in prayer ministry. I’m an avid tea and book lover and can’t get enough of either. I love Jesus and the daily adventure that comes from walking in friendship with him as he arranges and rearranges my story.