His End: #Blogbattle Short Story Week 21


It's Blogbattle Tuesday! Not as tasty as Taco Tuesday, but just as exciting! This week's keyword is "Eye." As always, to read other entries written by some amazing bloggers and writers, please follow this LINK to Rachael Ritchey's page. Read each entry and vote for your favorite 3. The winner(s) will be announced this coming Monday.

His End

His heart was gripped with the icy chill of the moment. As if it were frozen, he was certain that it had skipped a beat.

He had finally done it. After all these years of trying and failing, he had killed the old man.

141267697324cniHe forced himself to breath as he stared into the old man’s dark, unblinking eye. Eye, for the other was made of glass and rocked with the same cadence of a ticking clock against the surface of the table.

Even in his defeat, the old man’s eye burned with arrogant fire. But it was over now. There was nothing else to be done. Victory had been drawn from his hands and no death stare could change it.

Wide eyed, the young man felt a smile tickling the corners of his mouth. Unable to resist the urge he allowed himself to smile. Smile danced its way into a grin, and then a brilliant one-man symphony of laughter erupted from his lungs.

Fist punching the air in a celebration of a moment he never thought would come, he lept to his feet. His thighs, sculpted from running and work, pressed against the table’s edge and knocked the glass eye to the ground.

“Dang nabbit boy!” The old man snapped out of his stare, slapping the table with a meaty hand. “Sit down! You got my eye all dirty now!” Grunting over his large belly, he leaned to the side and snatched the orb from the ground before rubbing it against his cotton shirt with a scowl of derision.

The young man kept celebrating, head shaking from side to side as he danced, “Not today, Grandpa! I killed you, finally. I sunk your battleship!”



38 thoughts on “His End: #Blogbattle Short Story Week 21

      1. I pray so! As soon as I locate some art supply I have managed to misplace I hope to be as on fire there as I am with my words. Who but me manages to lose a 24×36 inch piece of paper smh

    1. Ahahaha! Don’t be embarrassed! 😀 I am glad he touched you enough to make you want to celebrate with him, even if it was just in beating his grandpa in a game of battleship!

      1. That does give reason for celebration. I was happy for the twist as well AND that it was done in less than 400 words. I think I have set a record for myself.

      2. I really admire writers who are able to say so much with so few words. This is not to say that I am not grateful for my talent but sometimes less is more. Less has a power all its own.

      3. This is true too. Alas when it comes to novel writing I tend to give at least 90,000 words and that is rare. So I think my future readers will be fully immersed if that is the case.

  1. LOL, I did not see that coming!! This was so very creepy…and then it wasn’t!! Loved it!! ❤ Less than 400 words? Totally impressed!! I usually need an extra 400 words, LOL.

    1. Thank you Marje. I appreciate your comment. Its a challenge to write “short” and “sweet” but I have been trying my hand at that this week 😉 I am glad you liked it.

  2. Wow, what a twist there! And here I thought it was a murder mystery, and that the grandpa was some evil villain finally defeated, but then…it was all a game. 😀 You got me! Loved this!

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