A Sound Like Locust: Future Novel Excerpt #Blogbattle “Horde”

Tuesday has come again and with it the all enjoyable Blog Battle, hosted by fellow blogger and author, Rachael Ritchey! The keyword this week is “Horde.”To check out her blog and other entries, please click HERE.

A Sound Like Locust

A smile spread across his face, but could only be seen in his near obsidian eyes. Aiolyn shifted his mouth guard, pulling it down to his chin, exposing milk white teeth.

“They are hale, just as was reported,” He peered through his spyglass, watching the herds-women of Tamier, and let out a shrill laugh that was only inhibited by the gust of wind that had rushed up the hill side, and over the long grass that hid the Ibrian army.

Chorus, Aiolyn’s eldest brother gave him a sharp, warning stare, one which Aiolyn ignored. He was far too excited. “And they are pretty, too! Not a muckmaude among them. Here, see for yourself. I prayed to the Father King for a pretty mate. He has certainly honored me!”

Chorus shook his head. Aiolyn ever the vain one, using the derogatory term “muckmaude,” not even realizing he was insulting the Father King by referring to ones He had created in such a manner. The young man would find out soon enough that beauty wasn’t everything. Heart,  character, faith, they were what truly mattered. Loyalty.

He looked ahead again, keeping that nugget of wisdom to himself. Chorus had had to learn that truth the hard way, as would the young men behind him.

He chanced a sweeping gaze around at them. A sea of Ibrian men, fresh out of their youth, having only just passed the threshold into adult hood by means of war, and now waited for his command, waited for Chorus to give the signale for them to descend upon the inhabitants of Tamier and claim its land and women as their own.

As was the Ibrian way.

What was not the Ibrian way was for a man of Chorus’ age, 33, and status to be among them. He had taken two brides already one of Ibrian decent who had died far too young. Another from the land of Velah who had killed herself only moments after Chorus had killed the man she laid with. She had been so desperate not to be his.

Anyone but his! Her hateful voice echoed through the corridors of his mind.

Chorus shook his head as if dusting off the shame of the memory. His thoughts needed to remain clear. He had not wanted to come to Tamier, but he had agreed to the Chieftains terms; to claim a new bride, one for himself and another for his youngest brother, Thaylon who road out to war upon the sea at the side of Chorus’ twin, Argaso.

Chorus was thus charged to lead the youth. Stretch out the boarders and the ways of Ibria, and trust in Heaven’s King, the Almighty Father, to honor him with a worthy mate.

“Go on, look, Chorus!” Aiolyn thrust the spyglass into Chorus’ large hand. Letting out a conceding breath, he took a quick peek. The women were hale and…pretty.

Having looked too long, Aiolyn said to him, “Finally glad you chose to lead us aren’t you?” He winked before thrusting his mouth guard back into place.

Before Chorus could give his retort, strong wind tickled the back of his head and caused his jaw muscles to tighten. The wind would carry their scent to the flocks below. Their loss of ease would alert the people of Tamier of their presents. There was no more time to spare. Their moment had come.

Raising his massive arm in the air and blowing through the intricate metal weaving of his face guard, Chorus let out a hissing sound similar to that of a Locust, a sound the other Ibrian’s also began to release. The unified call rose higher and higher and vibrated against the hillside.

The raid had begun!

With movements less like a horde and more like the regimented swarm, Chorus and his men descended upon Tamier like a rushing wave, overtaking their scent that was carried by the wind.


I hope you enjoyed a little peek into the life of Chorus and his younger brother Aiolyn. There is certainly more to come in the form of a full length novel. These characters have lived in my head and imagination for a couple of years now, and every now and again, they , like others, reveal a bit more of their story to me. When I read this week’s word for the Blogbattle, this jumped in my mind and I had to write it out. 

I will assure you, that the Ibrian’s, though they are conquerors, have a way about them that is truly honorable even though they do, well…conquer. Their culture and “Way” which is something that Chorus holds very sacred and dear, is so rich and is actually not one that is abusive towards women…although having one’s world turned on its ear would suggest otherwise. 

I will just have to get the story fully written for you to understand my meaning. 



35 thoughts on “A Sound Like Locust: Future Novel Excerpt #Blogbattle “Horde”

    1. I TOTALLY take that as a big compliment! I have always wanted to have the kind of writing style whereas people could not tell whether or not I was a man or a woman. And I am serious! So thanks loads! You made my day!

      1. I don’t think about the writer as male or female per-say, but you pull off the male parts so well, I would have ordinarily thought you were–you know–a male yourself. 😀

      2. 🙂 I don’t think for the most part that we as women are concerned with the gender of the authors we read, (we are so generous that way 😉 ) however men and boys tend to be prejudice when it comes to the gender of their authors. I will say that when I write I just write with my own voice so I am not “trying” to come off as male as in I am not stifling my true feminine self in order to accomplish a goal. But to be told that I portray the male voice in such a convincing manner really encourages me to write even more!

      3. Put another way–forget the male / female approach–you write strong, believable characters.
        You know when you write about something and the reader decides you’re writing from having had that exact experience. Ha ha. Convincing is what counts. Love it.

  1. I enjoyed reading this. It is a tantalising peak into a world that seems like it could be intricate and well-built. I hope you do develop it further, I think it has potential.

    1. 😀 thanks loads! It was such a tiny peek, as there is more to the land of Tamier than meets the eye as well, a tradition that has shaped their society, based off of folklore. The thing is that folklore is actually true and the men of Ibria are walking right into the mouth of it, blindly.

  2. Interesting world, here. I think I’ll need to see more of them before I form my opinion of Chorus and his people. It did feel like they were analyzing the women as they would cattle, but that’s what so many ancient peoples did back then. Actually they remind me somewhat of Vikings. I’m curious to learn more! 😀

    1. 🙂 I assure you Chorus is good people, and although the Ibrian’s are all about spreading their boarders by forcing assimilation through intermarriage and even going as far as to rename the wives they take, the role of woman, especially in the second generation of those who have been conquered is equal to that of men. Daughters go to war along with men to earn their place in society, but they do not go on raids to spread boarders. That would be the only difference. But shhhh I don’t want to give away too much but I will say there is a dragon that lurks around the boarders of Tamier, a dragon who only devours the hearts of men…Chorus and his brothers will find that out soon enough. That is why only women are seen tending the flocks of Tamier. 😉

      1. Ooooh, that is a cool plot twist! I’m hooked by the mention of dragons. I never would’ve expected there to be a reason only women were herding the flocks. Nice!

      2. I have already written random chunks of the story besides this one, as I write as it comes, whenever it comes. The dragon appears in several different forms but she is vile. Your excitement makes me want to try and write it much faster! Thank you!

  3. Bravo! More, please. 🙂 I love the conversations in the comments. They are as wildly entertaining as the stories everyone writes. 🙂 I like the Ibrians; I think there is a great authenticity and reality to the interaction you’ve created here. 🙂

      1. Well I will make that a project of mine, especially since that story has started speaking a lot over the last few days. Since its popularity is really among our blogbattle community would you consider hosting a link for it on your page?

      2. I will think about it! My only concern with that is if I start making special links like that then it might be requested by more and more people. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep up with it. I do have links to everyone’s blog battle stories listed by author name one page under the #BlogBattle heading, but maybe it could use more prominence?

      3. You bring up a very good point here. Hmmm. It will work itself out, perhaps once I have the the chapters done I will just reference the story with a link on one of my future blog battle post, maybe with another blog bottle entry with Chorus in it.

      4. I appreciate you! I think what I will do, since I can now see something for this story involving the word “rope” I will go ahead and do another blog battle with this story and add a link to the chapters…still working out the kings in my mind 😉

  4. I like it so far! Most interesting! I can’t wait to read more especially after looking through the comments! I think I might end up liking Chorus. 🙂

    1. 😀 well shucks! It looks like Chorus might have another week to make his case. Although since I have already mapped out his story in novel form we shall have to see what happens. Thanks for reading!

    1. Best. Compliment. EVER! Thank you so much! I am planning on giving next weeks word a go with this story and then adding a link to the first three chapters, should I have them all polished up this week. OR I will add a link to the following weeks blog battle. We shall see. Either way I have to give Chorus and his family a bit more blog time.

    1. Thank you so much 🙂 I have been writing bits and pieces as the scenes come to mind for about two years now. This was one of those new pieces and there is another coming tomorrow! Positive feedback, as you know, really inspires me to write more. So thank you loads!

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