A word on Contentment

Be content. The statement can be seen as a command or a verbalized form of permission. Be happy. Be wise. Be joyful. Be content.

One of the biggest mountains that I face is the mountain whose shadow attempts to cast its darkness upon my garden of contentment.

Lack of contentment, for me, comes from the need to “do more.” I seem to be in a constant state of growth out of this need, but there are a few straggly roots that are in my heart.

The need to do more makes me measure and count and compare, as if my life is on some scale. This attitude and mid-set, like that mountain stands in opposition of my faith. It is a hard thing to change ones mind.

When it comes to this blog, I always want to do more. Last year I feel like I allowed myself to be robbed of the joy of just blogging because of the thought that I wasn’t blogging enough. I was not writing enough. Even the question of why isn’t this novel finished yet has darkened some of the light.

But today I am deciding to divorce myself from all of the scales and balances. I am choosing contentment. I am choosing to celebrate getting one post done even if I planned for 10. ( I have not planned for 10 but you know what I mean.)

I am choosing to be content with the ebb and flow of Ascension Graveyard. This story has a life of its own and it may take longer than my “perfect” and totally unrealistic timetable to get it done. That is okay. I am content. It will be finished when it is supposed to be.

That is all. I just had to say that as I wind down and prepare for the weekend.



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