“Just a few more steps, and then, then you will be there. We will be there.” The light in his eyes was almost too much to deny. It lit the embers in her soul that had all but fizzled out; stomped out with each painful step her swelling feet took forward.
“We should have never left this place to start with.” He continued. “I left long before you did. I was hardly a man and you, you were nothing but a girl, but still. Our desertion was foolish. Don’t you think?” He turned back towards her after hefting himself over another large rock.
She tried to scale the rock face herself, should have been able to, but even with the new spark of hope for home, she was still terribly exhausted, stiff and sore. He extended his hand to her and with a level of ease, pulled her upward.
“Well?” He asked again. “What do you think?”
She rested her hips on the sun kissed rock face and closed her eyes, grateful to have been seated. “About what?”
“Us having made the mistake of desertion. We shouldn’t have done it, followed everyone else for whatever reason we followed them, and left home.”
She opened an eye in time to see him fanning his hand back and forward as if that would shoo away his past mistakes. He shielded his eyes with the other and waited for her answer.
“I suppose you want me to agree with you, that we should have never left,” She fixed her skirt and crossed her puffy ankles, a telltale sign that she was taking a much needed break. “But I have to tell you that I don’t. I have no regrets, none at all for leaving.”
He turned his shielded face towards her, his expression a little short of befuddled. “Honestly?” That was all he could manage to say after a long, awkward stare down at her. The sun had even had enough time to warm a trickle of sweat from his hairline.
She watched it trickled down the sharp slope of his jaw and disappear into the folds of his collar right before he could swipe it away with his handkerchief. He was such a neat man when she had met him. He was still orderly now in the blistering sun, after days of seemingly hopeless effort and walking.
“Honestly.” She finally answered him, allowing a smile to bloom across her face. She then patted the area beside her and invited him to sit. He was so different from her, so orderly in his mannerisms and dress and yet free as a feather on the wind in his ways. She on the other hand wore the guise of such loose ambitions but on the inside reservation and conservatism ruled over all.
But now the two sat together, the perfect complement of one another, headed back home to the place they had always belonged.
She nudged him with her shoulder and scooped his hand into hers. “Sure, it seems we lost time, lost our way, lost our dreams way out there in the great unknown so far from home, but we found each other out there. We have found our way again.” She let her smile brighten before she kissed his forehead and rested her head on his shoulder.
He kissed the crown of her head and smiled in turn. “I could not agree more.”
There is somewhat of an underlining theme that has come forth from my recent entries. The theme has to do with “return” or “starting over.” I have felt like I have lost my way with my blog over the last few months. The misdirection on my end has come from the whirlwind of life circumstances beating down on me from every side, my failed feeble attempts to regain control of, and salvage what was surviving my storms, and my need to see growth and order where there seemed to be little.
All of my intentions were good, but it was out of these intentions that my “creative motor” seemed to run out of gas. The light that is the catalyst for this blog began to dim as my attention drew further away from it.
Like the two characters in this 15min Freewrite, I recognize that I have strayed from home. Its a struggle to get back there, hence the swelling. But I also realize that wondering away has brought a new value to what I once had. Sometimes I feel discouraged, but there is also that energy and hope that all I have to do is start walking in the right direction and everything else will fall into place. And so I walk.
For those of you with similar struggles, be they with your blogging experiences or other matters in your life, hang in there , and just keep taking the steps in the right direction. You will arrive at your proper destination in time. You just have to keep walking.