I am a planner. I am not just a planner, I toe the line of being rigid with discipline, ticking all the boxes on my list of things-to-do-before-my-bed-calls-my-name.
You know what this blog has done for me over the past year? It has made me crumple my list, not really trash it…yet. I am grateful for that.
Write because I want to, draw because I can, laugh because its healthy, and just breathe.
It has made me super happy, super confused, slightly more spontaneous (a talent this girl lacks), and has given me more ambitious drive to attain that talent…even in the face of frustration…due to not being able to be in CONTROL. I have found myself praying more and asking for more self understanding.
“Why do I do the things I do? Why do I process information this way? How can I lighten up?”
I have written post about keeping my eyes forward, and yet I have to remind myself to do just that. I am still learning. I am still growing. I am still dancing in the sunlight of creative enlightenment and authentic discovery of my own blessed voice.
I have battled. I have battled with momentum, the need for control; the need to treat this blog not just as my brand but as a business, stuck in ruts of rules and…rigid discipline. I have battled to keep focused and keep breathing.
The year is almost over and on December the 13th (Maybe I should have waited til then to say all of this…maybe not. Dash the “Rules” and perfect planning) my blog will hit its first year anniversary. (I am pretty sure it is the 13th. God bless the man I marry. I am terrible with dates and tend to forget birthdays. Eek!)
It light of that, in light of all of the frustration, the battles, the things yet to be shared, explored, and ultimately discovered, I still have to remind myself to breathe and to just enjoy the ride. Write because I want to, draw because I can, laugh because its healthy, and just breathe.
Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.
Thank you to all of you who have come this far with me. Thank you for the feedback. Thank you for the “likes” and the “Follows” and even the “Shares.” Solo journeys are rich but company brings such a fantastic flavor to the soup. You all have made me better and I pray to only get even better, not just for self alone but for you guys as well. I want to grow WITH you.
So that is my note to self, with a decision to remind myself of the blog “rules” that I came up with long ago:
Rule #1 Keep to the path. Always remember this blog is about discovering your new light and creative world. Let that be your beacon towards every post.
Rule #2 Don’t take yourself too seriously, this blog is playtime. Playtime is fun and adventurous!
Rule #3 Give what you have at any given moment and spruce things up when more time is available. NEVER FORGET THE POWER OF 15 minutes!
Rule #4 This blog is not a 9 to 5. It is “Creative Therapy.” If you forget to nourish yourself you will faint before you care able to give something satisfying to others.